Nosy Neighbor: I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me…

Posted by Mrs Zeee on 04/20/2009

Ok, total venting session here, so read on at your own risk.

Now that I am blogging I guess you can make the argument that I am inviting the public into my world. And to some extent, that is true. However, and this is a big HOWEVER…when it comes to my home life and my family, I am a very private person and I choose to keep it that way for now.

So, where am I going with all of this?

The neighborhood I live in is a very tight-knit community. The homes on my street are small and close together separated only by a driveway, which means that you are separated from your nosy neighbors by that much space as well.

When we first moved here and met the couple next door we thought that they were pretty cool people — fun to have a drink with or to chat with on a Saturday afternoon kind of folks….

Then we started noticing that every once in a while, mid-conversation, they would make mention of certain things they noticed going-on inside of our home. For example, “I saw you rocking the baby to sleep…” or “why were you in the basement for so long last night…the lights were on until 2am…”

They also point out things we do outside of the house, as well. For example, one day I was on the back porch reading while the baby was napping. When I saw my neighbor a few days later, she made a comment asking about the specific BOOK THAT I WAS READING and was I enjoying it thus far!?! WTF?

(Fyi, currently reading Between, Georgia by Josilyn Jackson and so far, so good, but I CHOSE to share that with you ).

More recently, my husband was doing yard work this past Saturday afternoon and today the neighbor next door decided to comment IN DETAIL on all of the improvements my hubby made to the lawn, bushes, etc… He gave my DH a freaking play-by-play. Was he sitting in his back room with a beer watching him do his work? Why the heck doesn’t he get off his rump and do something to fix his own backyard?

It is worth noting that we have curtains, blinds, etc… but they are not always drawn shut. We are pretty careful not to do anything embarrassing either (ie – walk around in underwear or other unmentionables in plain view of windows or doors)

And, although the homes are close together, you really have to strain to see inside. So tell me, what the freak are they looking at? And how often?

Do I have to cease to let sunlight into my house for fear that I am letting prying eyes in as well? Don’t people have better things to do than pay attention to us?

Trust me, there is nothing scandalous behind these walls, but the very thought of being watched without my knowing gives me the heebie-jeebies. It makes me uncomfortable in my own home and that is not something I take lightly.

So, to my nosy neighbors who opt to mind our business instead of your own, allow me to suggest a more productive activity:

GET A LIFE!!

Kelly said,

Oh Wow! People amaze me! Are they using binoculars or something? Seriously… if she knew what book you were reading, that is just strange!

I would seriously talk to them. I’d be so uncomfortable, too. I, myself, would probably start doing really strange, random things to throw them off, but that’s my twisted way of doing things! You know, read your book upside down… tape garbage bags to the outside of your windows… paint the lawn purple… :0)

I’m just kidding… kinda… but I do think you guys should tell them where to stick it! I know they’re your neighbors, but it’s your house!

Nosy people just suck! Especially nosy people with xray vision and/or binoculars!
Good Luck MrsZeee!
Kelly :0)
mrszeee said,

The purple lawn will definitely raise an eyebrow or two! We are definitely going to come up with a plan to get our message across to these people.
Denise said,

Wow, um, that’s creepy. I would just start keeping my blinds and curtains closed all the time. That’s not right, they sounds like questionable people. Especially since they know such detail about things.

And yes, I love Napoleon Dynamite, but the reason I want a Liger is because I saw one on TV the other day and fell in love with it!
Maria@Conversations with Moms said,

That is pretty creepy. You should feel comfortable in your own home and not worry if your neighbours are watching. It amazes me how much time some people take in watching other people’s lives instead of focusing on their own lives.

I think I would talk to them too, or just avoid them for a while until they got the message.
Denise said,

I didn’t either! Then I was watching Racheal Ray on TV on friday and that had a liger cub – SO SO cute! And it was very real! Glad I got to teach you something new!
zelzee said,

You will not change nosy neighbors. They thrive on watching your life. And if you approached them about it, they would have no idea why it upsets you.
I also would be very uncomfortable, but I would also keep my distance, and keep blinds closed at night.

Maybe they will start finding the neighbor on the other side a bit more interesting.
WiseGuy said,

OMG…they are so irritating… how about putting a sign on the door that reads – IF YOU SEE THROUGH ONCE AGAIN, I WILL SEDUCE YOUR HUSBAND. I guess with that, there will be ‘plague’.

*ICLW*
Heather R. said,

Ok I have the perfect solution. Just place these cardboard cutouts in front of your windows. If you’re feeling creative string them up and make them move a la “Home Alone”

Bedroom: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y246/cherryrebel/876-dr-who_1199_detail.jpg?t=1240639788

Living room http://www.advancedgraphics.com/store/pc/catalog/929-its-happy-bunny_1229_detail.jpg
elizabeth said,

Have similar problem. My neighbor knows what time we go to bed. She knows how long my husband takes for his runs, and will let me know if he went for a particularly long one. Her kids do it too.

I just started fighting back in my own way.

1. I wave when I see her watching me behind the blinds.

2. I say things like, “Oh we have an audience!” loud enough to be heard.

3. I once told her nosy oldest child that it sure is funny how she comes out as soon as we get home. This has been helpful — calling it out immediately.

It’s been better since I’ve struck back. I’ve concluded that she can’t really help it. I feel less upset by all of this because I’ve shone the spotlight back on the “watchers.”
Anna said,

I’ve been dealing with the nosy neighbor crap as well- I’ve never talked to him but there are just WAY too many “coinsidences” where he is outside when I am or he opens his garage just as I open my backyard blinds. It’s so creepy!!! and I don’t mind keeping the blinds closed even in the daytime just so I don’t have to feel watched by him, but the hours I am home after work is the only time I can open my blinds to let sunlight onto my townhouse for my hanging air-plants (bromeliads)! I don’t try to draw attention to myself, I just want to go about my life without having to think about him watching me.
Anna said,

Also, instead of walking out his damn front door like a normal person does, he opens and comes out of his attached garage which faces my backyard/attached garage to walk down the street somewhere in the direction of the front door. So I know he’s doing it on purpose. I guess you’d have to see a picture to understand the aerial layout to understand why it’s strange of him to be doing this. Am I being anal? Am I being weird for paying attention to these “coincidences”? My roommate doesn’t notice him but then again, I’m a female and my roommate is a male, my boyfriend.
Sharmila S. Meena said,

Are my neighbors nosy? How do I find out? Whenever I get parcels for which the payment option is Cash on Delivery, my neighbors come out and ask the courier person where they are from, how they can order the same stuff, etc. Once they event went to the extent of calling the courier person inside their house after I had shut the door and asked for my order history and that even they would like to order stuff for themselves. I found out they did this, when I was going toward the tower elevator and saw and heard them talking about my orders to the courier person and was extremely shocked. This is clearly an invasion of my privacy for me, even if my mother does not agree, saying that they are only asking for themselves. Furthermore, they once wanted to “see” the dryer supplied by our tower office, whereas the same item is supplied to all the flats in our towers. I did not allow her to step inside my house for 2 valid reasons: Firstly, I do not want people snooping around my house. Secondly, if the manufacturer of the dryer has given us a defective piece, then he will not dispute with us, stating that we opened the package and that he will not replace it. My neighbor then asked me whether she can “measure” our door video phone. They are also going to get the exact same piece. Then why “measure” ours? I do not understand what the deal is with my neighbors. She gets angry and the next day on, we get letters in my name, but with our flat number canceled and theirs written on my letters till I wrote an online review. My neighbors never even invited us for their housewarming party, but they sure know where to go for “help” or “information” when they need them – to our door. What kind of neighbors are these? Are they dangerous? One night, I was about to sleep. There was a lot of noise outside our house. I switched on the door camera to see who is there at 11:00 p.m. – an unearthly hour. Our neighbor, who is dressed like a terrorist in white cloth, covering her face comes out and peeps into our video camera. It was ridiculous. We do not know what the deal with these people really is. Then yesterday, another neighbor asks us about why the head of my family is not staying here for very long, to which my father replied that he has to take care of his sick sister and is staying away for sometime. How did they come to know that the head of the family is not around? Do they keep spying on us all the time? We do not even know what our neighbors are like, what their lifestyle is, etc. We do not even bother to find out, because we are not nosy and we do not like nosy people. How did this happen then? Questions cloaked as concerns – one of the signs mentioned in articles that give signs of how to detect a nosy neighbor that is spying on us. How do we solve this problem? Do we approach the police? Why do I get the feeling that I am being watched over all the time? Am I being nosy or is my neighbor being nosy? How do I deal with this problem?
Sharmila S. Meena said,

Furthermore, my father told me yesterday when I asked him who had come inquiring about why he is not around. My dad says it’s not nice to ask that and that we have to be “sociable.” I mean what are the limits to being sociable? Isn’t this question from my other neighbor invasive? I do not understand how to tackle this and am at my wits ends. Trust me, I am.