STS: Dear Big Blue, Here’s 6 Reasons Why I Love You

Posted by Mrs Zeee on 05/22/2009

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Here is my tribute to the Atlantic Ocean as part of Small Talk Saturday.

How do I love thee fair ocean…let me count the waves:

1) You attract an endless supply of freaks and morons to your shores: eating hotdogs, throwing frisbees and wearing a variety of speedos and tankinis that are frightening to behold. When I compare myself to these specimens in spandex, my ego thanks you.

2) Crafty devil, you are, constantly finding ways to decorate your sand for my vacationing pleasure: dead horseshoe crabs, slimy kelp and bird droppings to name of few…

3) You have a fantastic sense of humor. Why that man chose to stand up on the dingy and heave his lunch upon you is beyond me…that you chose to retaliate by throwing him asunder was a masterpiece!

4) Mighty beasts live within your vast interior…many of which I am terrified. Thankfully there is salt stinging my eyes so I am unable to see them approaching.

5) I thoroughly enjoy dipping my toes into your water in anticipation of an incoming wave, and I adore that you find it necessary to withdraw by dragging a selection of seaweed and sharp shells along my ankles.

6) Your are big and powerful and I feel light as a feather in your arms. You never judge my weight and no matter how terrible I look in my swimsuit, I am always a supermodel beneath your cool surface.

Sarcastically yours,

Mrs Zeee

ps- see ya next weekend – i’ll bring the sandwiches!