5 Lessons Learned About Renaissance Fair Costumes

Posted by Mrs Zeee on 09/28/2009

This past weekend, I visited my very first Renaissance Fair: great weather, good ale and endless blog fodder to say the least: I was floored at some of the Renaissance and non-so-Renaissance-worthy costumes in attendance.

Here I was (innocently) expecting Renaissance costumes to be period pieces; a quasi-accurate showcase in Elizabethan fashion.

To my satisfaction, that was an accurate expectation of the fair’s cast/employees only — who were dressed to the nines and in most cases, looked amazing!

As for the attending “commoners”,  it’s a whole other story…

Allow me to share the 5 lessons learned after observing the Renaissance Fair participants in all of their not-so-noble-glory:

5) But where can I store my iPhone?
Corsets and suits of armor don’t have handy little pockets for iPhones and other portable devices. So, to witness Queen Elizabeth and a pseudo Sir Prance-a-lot feverishly texting behind the Globe theater, was comical at best. Where do they store their devices once the Queen is called to court?

4) Fishnets, Cleavage and Bondage, oh my!
A note to the larger set who choose to wear fishnet stockings and the like:  your calves should not resemble a tufted pillow bulging out from between the crosshairs of thread. Also, please tuck in ye olde boobs from thine low-cut blouse and save the S&M gear for another event. There are children walking around for goodness sake!

3) The peasants were a surly lot indeed
All I have to say is that when you place the peasants aside the royalty, you can tell why the caste system was supported by the comelier class…I’m just sayin’…I get it.

2) The Tudors Hadn’t a Dental Plan
Talk about purists. Much like their medieval brethren, many of these folks have forgone dental hygiene altogether. Now, that is dedication to the craft!

1) What happened to the “Dungeons and Dragons” clique from high school…
Rest assured, that dude who used to sit behind you in class and spent his time sorting colored cards and little figurines from a velvet pouch is alive… and well… and walking around the Renaissance fair in a purple cape.

Hope you enjoyed my list! I certainly enjoyed people-watching at the fair.

In all, it was a cultural experience and I might be back next year, but I’ll need a lot more ale…